Getting Better All the Time

OK deep cleansing breath now. I'm coming back to myself. Aside from all the uproar with my family there has apparently been quite the uproar going on within myself as well. I'm on my way to sorting things out now. I'm overweight - well, I'll do just one small thing for now. I've lost weight before and kept it off, but since I've moved here my routine is so very different from how it used to be, I've lasped. Wicked. I'll take things slow (again). For now, instead of soda (I'm way into Cherry Coke!) It'll be water. That's my one small thing. And then I'll find another small thing, whether it's my weight, my self esteem, or anyone of the other thousand things that got out of hand, instead of the "bad" things snowballing, I'm going to get some good things rolling. If there was ever any doubt (and there never was) I love Charles more than I ever had or ever thought was possible to love anyone. And oh, I'm so loved by him. I can honestly say I feel cherished. This man, this very true man has stood beside me, behind me, and sometimes in front of me, when needed, through all of this mess. Love, respect, honor, devotion, there isn't a word for the way I feel about this man.

I've always wanted to be "ahead" of myself I think. Couldn't wait to be older. Well, I think I've been rushing again. I had been preoccupied with the Crone. As though I am anywhere near being able to claim that - wisdomwise I mean. I'm certainly close enough in age, giggle! But, yes, I was identifying, I believe, with the physical features (my vision, anyway) of the Crone. And while I believe I'll be letting my hair go to it's natural dark brown flecked with gray and embracing evermore of my inner Crone - I AM NOT OLD! Did you hear me, Miss Molly Jane? And when I am old (whenever that may be) - what of it? Old does NOT mean fat, or out of shape, or bad habits for the love of all the stars in the sky!

--- WE INTERRUPT THIS BLOG FOR THE FOLLOWING NEWSFLASH ---

It is 11:20 p.m. now, here in the city (city for me anyway) of Laurel, MD and I just heard a BIRD CHIRPING!!!! How beautiful is THAT? And talk about a sign!

--- WE NOW RETURN YOU TO YOUR REGULARLY SCHEDULED BLOG ---

I have to stop thinking there is some magic number of age that will make me feel I am myself. What the heck is wrong with being me NOW. Right here, right now, as I live and breathe. One of the things that helped me lose weight before is applicable to any/everything. Don't wait until you've (lost weight, got the right clothes, have the perfect job, insert your own challenge here) to start living your life. What am I waiting for?