A Little Blue

So now they tell me I have a fibroid. I’m not sure how much info is TMI so I’ll keep it vague. Apparently it is “huge.” That is a direct quote from the Doctor. “Six by something by something.” Another quote. I’ll try to get the exact dimensions. I’ll probably have to have a hysterectomy. First she’s going to try a shot to see if it will shrink enough to remove the fibroid without major opening me up surgery. I won’t say she’d rather remove it vaginally. I hate that word, so I won’t say it. That was my lame attempt at humor.  My point to all of this is now I know I can, and will never have children. Yes, I’m too old now anyway. Don’t get me started on women having babies into their 60s and even 70s. In my opinion that’s just selfish. But I digress. I am a Daughter of DES. I’ve had miscarriages. The ex-husband didn’t want children. Most of the time I didn’t want them. I think. I’ll never know how much was his input and how much was my feelings. I imagine if I had been with someone else I would have had kids. The choice has been taken away from me. There were a million reasons not to have children and it’s probably best I never did. But it’s that choice thing. I’ll carry on. Be well, all.